Therapy Consultations: Tips for Finding the Right Therapist for You
So you’re ready to start therapy… now what?
You Google, find Psychology Today/Therapy Den, or look on your insurance website, scroll what seems like an endless list of names and faces. Your head is fuzzy from reading all the bios with dozens of acronyms that mean nothing to you (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, EFT, IFS, MBSR) … how do you pick the right one?
After making a short list of options, I highly recommend asking for a consultation from the ones who most interest you.
Therapy is an investment. You’re going to spend a lot of time, in most cases money, and effort on the process. It is in your best interest to make sure that you find the right provider for you. My running joke is that finding the right therapist is kind of like dating. There are a lot of nice people out there… but just because someone is nice, does not mean you want to spend a bunch of time with them and share all your secrets. It is critical to find the right one, not just anyone. Plus the importance of finding the right fit is backed by science! Research suggests that one of the largest predictors of successful outcomes in psychotherapy, regardless of interventions utilized, is the client’s perception of the relationship between them and their therapist (Lambert, M. J., & Barley, D. E., 2001).
Initial intake sessions can feel invasive and intense. Therapists need to understand both your most disruptive symptoms and your history. The intake session is for your provider to get a snapshot of you, not for you to get a snapshot of them. Consultations on the other hand allow you to have a first interaction that is free of the pressure and anxiety of the more invasive questions so you can focus more on fit. Consultations allow you to see how comfortable you are to begin your healing journey with a specific provider. It will also allow the provider a chance to determine if they feel they are the best fit for your needs. A good therapist will be using the consultation to assess if their strengths and experience meet your needs as well as evaluating if there are any conflicts of interest. If they do not feel like it’s a match, they likely have enough knowledge of local resources to point you in the direction of a provider who may be good. Sounds like a win-win to me!
Questions to consider asking a therapist during a consultation:
Logistics
-Is there a waitlist for new clients?
-What are your typical hours?
-How often should I be expecting to come?
-What is your cancellation policy?
-How does billing/insurance work?
-Do you offer telehealth?
Style
-What will sessions typically feel like? For example, more structured or more fluid, more worksheet or more experiential, more narrative or more somatic?
-What is your experience with my particular symptoms/diagnosis/goals?
-What types of therapy are you trained in and use?
-What perspectives or strategies do you use to guide therapy?
Nitty-gritty
-How will I know it’s working?
-How will I know when I’m done? What happens after that?
-What happens if I’m not happy with how therapy is going?
-What if I don’t agree with things said or suggested in sessions?
-Is it okay to bring up if something has hurt or bothers me during our sessions?
-Is there anything I should know about you as a therapist that may be a deal breaker for me?
The most important part
If there is anything you’re bringing into therapy that you are anxious about sharing… now is the time to do so. You do not have to go into detail, but if there is something about who you are or what you’ve been through that you’re feeling shame/guilt/anxiety/embarrassment about sharing, then it is important. You deserve to feel comfortable allowing your whole self and your whole story out with the person you choose to work with. You need to make sure you feel that the therapist in front of you is a safe person who can handle it. I know it is hard, but now is the time to put it on the table, your future self will thank you.
Queer? Let that rainbow flag fly.
POC? Ask about anti-racism, loud and proud.
Kink/Poly/Sex worker? Be unapologetic with your sex positive self.
Suicidal or self-injury? You deserve to feel safe and supported.
Trauma history? It’s part of your story that you didn’t get to choose, but you do get to choose who you share it with. You deserve to make sure it’s the right person.
Body image/disordered eating? I know you’re used to hiding it, but now is the time to break that cycle babe.
Neuro-spicy? See if they can handle the heat.
Woo-Woo/Religious/Wiccan/etc? Make sure your therapist can support what guides your soul.
Remember, therapists are people too. We have our own life experiences and values that shape how we see the world, including our work. We have our own strengths and blind spots. Not every therapist is going to be the right fit for you, but there are definitely plenty who can be. You are choosing someone who will be witness to your most vulnerable states and come alongside you as a co-pilot on your healing journey. You deserve to do what you can to get it right.
I hope this can be a helpful resource for you as you navigate the (not as scary as you think) waters of finding your ideal therapist.
You got this!
Samantha Deribin has over a decade of experience as a psychotherapist in Central Ohio and is the owner of When You’re Ready Counseling. She is passionate about creating therapeutic spaces that are authentic, safe and welcoming for people of all colors, shapes, sexualities and walks of life. Samantha uses empathy, well timed humor and an eclectic toolkit of modalities to create a therapeutic experience unique to each of her clients.
