Grief & Loss

“Grief is love's souvenir. It's our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I love well. Here is my proof that I paid the price.” — Glennon Doyle

Grief therapy is a type of counseling that focuses on helping people cope with the emotions and challenges associated with loss and grief. While many think of the Five Stages of Grief as outlined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, she actually never intended them to be thought of as how a griever processes a loss, but instead the steps that patients go through as they process their own terminal illnesses. You may experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance on your journey, but you most likely won’t experience them in that order and you may not experience them at all. Part of processing your loss involves accepting and adjusting to your life after loss. Here are some common approaches and techniques used in grief therapy:

  1. Validation: One of the most important aspects of grief therapy is validating the client's emotions and experiences. The therapist provides a safe space for the client to express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns without judgment or criticism.

  2. Education: The therapist may provide information on the grieving process and what to expect. This can help clients feel more prepared and less alone in their experience.

  3. Coping strategies: The therapist may help clients develop coping strategies to manage their grief, such as journaling, mindfulness, or relaxation techniques.

  4. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a type of therapy that focuses on changing negative or unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors. In grief therapy, CBT may help clients identify and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about their loss.

  5. Interpersonal therapy (IPT): IPT is a type of therapy that focuses on improving relationships and communication. In grief therapy, IPT may help clients navigate changes in relationships after a loss.

  6. Support groups: The therapist may recommend joining a grief support group to connect with others who are experiencing similar emotions and challenges.

As humans, we all process loss differently. Some bottle it up and others struggle to regulate emotional outbursts. And while there is no “normal” when it comes to grieving, some common displays of the grieving process include:

  • Feeling depressed

  • Frequent crying

  • Numbness or shock

  • Loneliness and isolating behaviors

  • Guilt

  • Fear & anxiety

  • Increased drug or alcohol use

  • Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy

Overall, grief therapy is tailored to the individual's needs and may involve a combination of these techniques. The goal is to help clients process their grief, develop coping strategies, and adjust to life after loss.

Types of Grief

  • Uncomplicated/"Normal"

    This is the most common type of grief, and it occurs when a person experiences the natural emotional and physical responses to loss. It can involve a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, and confusion, and typically resolves over time as the person adjusts to the loss.

  • Anticipatory

    This occurs when a person experiences grief before a loss has actually occurred, such as when a loved one is terminally ill or facing a life-threatening illness. It can involve similar emotions and challenges as normal grief but may also include feelings of guilt, anxiety, and uncertainty about the future.

  • Disenfranchised

    This is grief that is not acknowledged or validated by society or others around the person experiencing it. Examples of this type of grief include the loss of a pet, the end of a non-traditional relationship, or the loss of a job. The lack of validation can make it more difficult for the person to process their emotions and adjust to the loss.

  • Complicated

    This occurs when a person experiences intense and prolonged grief that interferes with their ability to function in daily life. It can include symptoms such as persistent feelings of sadness, anger, or guilt, as well as difficulty accepting the loss and a sense of being stuck in the grieving process.

  • Collective

    This occurs when a group or community experiences a shared loss, such as a natural disaster, mass shooting, or other tragic event. It can involve a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and fear, as well as a sense of loss of safety and security.

  • Secondary

    The refers to the emotional pain and distress that people may experience as a result of the grief of someone else. It is also sometimes referred to as vicarious grief, empathetic grief, or compassionate grief.